Contradictory Hearts

We’re all filled with what we wish we could say.
Our tongues stumble on emotion,
Bumble when the heart is even remotely involved.
We bunker down, arm the walls of our selves,
Vulnerability is something we’re not well versed in.

For all the grand romantic gestures we gestate in our minds,
We imagine the cold aftermath of rejection’s sigh.
We court love’s duplicity;
Tempting our own daring with denial’s doldrums.
It’s a lesson never learned
A pain rightly earned,
Ultimately
A scar on our hearts we’re loathe to see heal.

Every broken dream takes a face,
We’ll hate it for a time,
Commiserate with the stale air—
Though we’ll muster up the merit to try again.
Who will be next, we always ask,
The answer lies in the spark of kindness;
Generosity's glean glinting in the eyes,
Every shallow thought we harbor is quick in demise,
We’d gladly throw it all away to be wanted.

On nights when the winter steals our warmth,
Leaves the blankets as our only solace,
The reveries of past romance shall warm our toes.
The fumbling kisses and wild ecstasies,
The rapturous highs and intolerable lows;
We hate what we love,
Though another life we could never know.